THE VIOLET VIEW

JULY 2025 | ISSUE NO. 13

Here's your latest Violet View—bringing you actionable leadership insights that cut through the noise.

Hi there—Stefanie here, President of The Violet Group and your guide for this month’s dose of real-world leadership insight.

This month’s topic comes straight from the coaching room: One of those frustrating, very human challenges that even the most self-aware leaders run into.

You get feedback on your leadership.

You digest it.

You reflect.

You do the hard work to evolve your approach.

You show up differently.

You feel it in your presence and the way you engage.

And still… no one seems to notice.

This a moment I see all the time in leadership coaching: a leader puts in the work, reflects deeply, starts showing up differently—and yet, keeps getting the same feedback.

So, why is it so hard to shift how people see you at work? 

Let's look at Priya, a leader I coached recently. 

After a tough 360, she got clear on her growth edges: she needed to slow down, invite more collaboration, and bring people along. And she committed. She changed how she ran meetings. Asked more questions. Made space for dissent.

But several months in, she was disheartened.

“I’m doing the work. Why don’t people see it?”

Sound familiar?

It’s one of the most common frustrations I hear—especially after a 360 or feedback review. Leaders take it seriously. They reflect. They adjust their behavior. But the old narrative lingers.

Here’s why: Reputation change doesn’t follow behavior change—it lags behind it.

Most of us form impressions quickly and hold onto them tightly. Our brains look for what we expect to see (confirmation bias), and we’re busy enough that we often miss new patterns—especially when they’re subtle.

That doesn’t mean you’re stuck. But it does mean you have to be strategic, intentional, and patient.

Here are four things I worked on with Priya—and that I often share with leaders trying to rewrite their reputation at work:

1. Name what you’re working on. Priya started saying it out loud. In 1:1s and team meetings, she’d name her intention:

“One of my goals this quarter is to slow down and get broader input before we move forward. Let me know how I’m doing.”

This did two things: it drew attention to her shift and made it easier for others to give her feedback.

2. Explain your rationale. At first, her team thought she was indecisive. “She used to just make the call—now she wants ten opinions?”

But when she explained the why—that she wanted more buy-in, more ownership—they started to see the evolution behind her new behaviors.

3. Ask for targeted feedback. We made feedback specific and forward-looking.

“I’m working on pausing before reacting—especially under pressure. If you notice me rushing or shutting down ideas, would you flag it for me?”

After key meetings, she followed up: “How did I do in that discussion?” It signaled openness and helped build a new feedback loop.

4. Play the long game. This is the hardest part. Priya wanted people to get it right away. That's a common expectation for a high-performer. Let's move and move fast.

But reputation change is a slow burn—not a switch flip. She stuck with it. And after six months of consistency and candor, she started hearing new feedback:

“You’ve been much more collaborative lately.”

“Thanks for looping me in earlier—really made a difference.”

Leadership development isn’t about quick wins or aiming for perfection. It’s about staying in the work, even when the rewards are delayed.

So if you’re in the middle of a change, keep going.

If you’re supporting someone else, help them be seen for who they’re becoming.

Stefanie

From the Expo Floor 💬

Through meaningful conversations with over 200 HR and talent leaders at this year’s Society for Human Resource Management Annual Conference (SHRM25), we heard firsthand what’s top of mind for today’s people leaders.

While each organization has nuance, three patterns came through loud and clear across our conversations:

→ Team development is getting more complex. 

Leaders are managing evolving team structures, retiring talent, and the ripple effects of misalignment. Many are looking for ways to reset and rebuild trust, strengthen dynamics, and set shared expectations.

→ Skill-building needs to be fast, practical, and sticky. 

The message was clear: no time for fluff or long-drawn out training sessions. People need immediate, actionable tools to improve how they lead and manage—ideally in formats that are short, sharp, and easy to apply.

→ We’re still not preparing technical experts to lead. 

Too many brilliant individual contributors are promoted without support. The result? Frustration, turnover, and underperformance. We need better bridges to leadership—before the promotion happens.

These patterns reflect the real challenges many organizations are up against. They’re also shaping how we partner with clients: helping teams develop and evolve, equipping leaders with practical tools, and delivering development that’s relevant, targeted, and built to stick.

If these themes resonate with you, we’d be glad to talk more about how we can help.

What We're Asking: Do generational differences really matter?

“I can’t figure out how to motivate my Gen Z employee.”

This is a common remark we hear from the leaders we coach.

The truth is: Younger generations aren’t impossible to lead, but they are bringing in fresh ideas for change, a different set of expectations, and values shaped by their upbringing and life experiences. 

Recent research uncovers what Gen Z and millennials — who are estimated to make up over 30% of the workforce by 2030 — value most at work: learning and growth, values alignment, flexibility, and well-being.

If you’re leading early career talent, it’s worth understanding their values and drivers so you can unlock their full potential and build the next generation of leaders.

What We’re Teaching: Feedback Skills

Giving feedback that’s clear, honest, and direct is a core leadership skill.

Most leaders know this, and can articulate why it matters and what the benefits are.

And yet… many still struggle to do it.

Here is a simple, practical framework we use at TVG to equip leaders to deliver feedback with candor and care:

1. Clarify the Purpose: Why does this conversation matter—for the person, the team, and the business?

 

2. Ground in Facts and Impact: Focus on what you’ve observed, what’s expected, and the impact of the gap.

 

3. Structure the Message: Use a short, direct script that communicates both expectations and support.

 

4. Prepare for Reactions: Think ahead about how the other person may respond—and how you’ll stay grounded.

 

5. Align on Next Steps: Set clear expectations for what needs to change, and agree on how progress will be tracked.

Giving feedback isn’t about being harsh—it’s about being responsible.

And when done right, it builds trust, not tension.

What’s your go-to strategy for direct feedback that actually works?

Not Your Typical Leadership Program

Until then...happy listening, learning, and leading, TVG community!

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